You are not alone!
A bereaved mother myself, I know the unique pain that comes from losing a child. Our family has experienced two miscarriages as well as the deaths of identical twin daughters – one stillborn and the other after she spent her brief life of 47 days in the NICU.
It was so hard to navigate the days, weeks, and months following their deaths.
I had faith, but it seemed unsteady. My relationship with God felt strained.
I felt pinned under the heavy weight of grief and trauma. It permeated every area of my life and left me feeling confused and exhausted.
I found a bereavement group, but the other people there were widows. We were all grieving, but we had different types of loss.
I found some child loss groups on social media, but it was difficult to see everyone going on with life as usual when mine had been completely changed. Not to mention the ache I felt seeing friends’ pregnancy announcements or new babies. It felt like navigating a minefield.
Can you relate to any of these feelings?
This is why I created the Present in the Pain Community!
The Present in the Pain Community is an online group where grieving mothers can find support, encouragement, and understanding as they heal from the pain of child loss.
I want to help you look at loss through the lens of our Catholic faith with the Scriptures, the Saints, and Our Lady of Sorrows as our guides. I want to help you grieve with an eternal perspective, while still being honest about the heartache and trauma that this unique type of loss can create.
There are places to introduce yourself and share your story, to discuss the podcast, and, new for 2023, there are individual groups for loss-specific and loss-related support, including:
Pregnancy Loss Support
Stillbirth Support
Infant (0-2) Loss Support
Young Child (3-17) Loss Support
Adult Child (18+) Loss Support
No Living Children After Loss Support
NFP & TTC After Loss Support
Pregnant After Loss Support
Relationship Strain After Loss Support
Did you know that just telling your story of loss is healing?
But one thing we learn the hard way early on in our grief is that we can’t tell our story to just anyone.
There are some people who want to put a silver lining on our story by saying things like:
“At least you can have more children.” “At least you still have your other children.” “At least it was early.” “At least they’re not suffering.”
They mean well, and all of these things may be true, but they don’t bring comfort in our pain.
There are some people who offer spiritual-sounding words like:
“They’re in a better place.” “God needed another angel.” “You’re so strong.” “Everything happens for a reason.”
We know they’re trying to help, but sometimes these phrases don’t meet us in our sorrow. It’s not the “weeping with those who weep” that we need.
And there are some people who disappear altogether.
For so many people, the idea that babies and children can die is so upsetting that they just want to push it away. Because if your child could die, then their child could die.
They don’t know what to say, so instead they say nothing.
This can cause feelings of isolation, leaving us wondering who we can talk to who understands our pain.
Everyone in our Community knows that children can and do die – with a greater frequency than most people realize. It’s a place where you can tell your story, benefit from the healing that it brings, and not worry that anyone will bristle from hearing it.
You don’t have to use church-speak.
It’s okay if you’re angry.
You and your story are safe with us.
You can join us if you’re new in your loss, or if it’s been years since your child died.
You can join us if you’re struggling with a specific aspect of grief, or if everything feels like a jumbled mess and you don’t know where to start.
No matter where you are in your grieving journey, you’ll find support and friendship here in the form of online meetups, discussion areas, book groups, and more!
Plus it’s completely free!
Here’s what one member had to say:
I was introduced to Present in the Pain two years after my first loss. At that point I was desperately seeking support in my grief journey. I’d been to general support groups (broader than child loss) and a Christian one as well; they weren’t great fits, so I jumped at the chance to be in a Catholic group for grieving mothers.
I loved Eileen’s weekly videos, questions, and activities. I looked forward to the calls with our cohort. I felt seen and heard in new ways. Eileen in particular is the real gem – there was a deep understanding that I’m moving very slowly, I’m still struggling in my faith, I’m angry and questioning. She has validated me with her support, and yet I still experience a challenge from her to probe and seek more.
I’ve continued to be part of this community for three years and through three more losses. I’ve gone through her retreat a second time, I’ve met new members through our biweekly calls, and I’m continually given new tools for navigating this complex life. I’m still a mess but Present in the Pain is my encouragement and hope that I’m growing. There is no cure for the loss of our children, and I’m grateful that this isn’t expected of me either. Instead I’m in a community that offers opportunities to honor every child, honor yourself and where you’re at, be present to other mothers, find God, connect to Catholicism, and live courageously.
What if you could find the support and understanding that you needed to heal from the pain of pregnancy and child loss?
Are you ready to find out?
Here’s what’s happening inside the Community
My new mini-course is available. Click the image below to learn more:
I’m holding a live Q&A Session on Wednesday, August 16th at 1PM Eastern to discuss my upcoming Taking Flight Workshop Series. Click the image below to get the link and RSVP for the Q&A.
Our next Community Meetup is coming:
