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Do you feel crushed under the weight of your grief after the loss of your child?

Have you felt distanced from God since your child died and not sure how to reconnect?

Do you wish that there was someone you could talk to who understood how you were feeling?

I’m so glad you’re here!

A bereaved mother myself, I know the unique pain that comes from losing a child. Our family has experienced two miscarriages as well as the deaths of identical twin daughters – one stillborn and the other after she spent her brief life of 47 days in the NICU.

I had faith, but it was shaken. My relationship with God had changed.

I felt pinned under the heavy weight of grief and trauma. It permeated every area of my life and left me feeling confused and exhausted.

I found a bereavement group, but the other people there were widows. We were all grieving, but we had different types of loss.

I found some child loss groups on social media, but it was difficult to see everyone going on with life as usual when mine had been completely changed. Not to mention the ache I felt seeing friends’ pregnancy announcements or new babies. It felt like navigating a minefield.

Can you relate?

This is why I created the Present in the Pain Community!

The Present in the Pain Community is an online group where grieving mothers can find support, encouragement, and understanding as they heal from the pain of child loss.

I want to help you look at loss through the lens of our Catholic faith with the Scriptures, the Saints, and Our Lady of Sorrows as our guides. I want to help you grieve with an eternal perspective, while still being honest about the heartache and trauma that this unique type of loss can create.

There are places to introduce yourself and share your story, to discuss the podcast, and, new for 2023, there are individual groups for loss-specific and loss-related support, including:

Pregnancy Loss Support
Stillbirth Support
Infant (0-2) Loss Support
Young Child (2-17) Loss Support
Adult Child (18+) Loss Support
No Living Children After Loss Support
NFP & TTC After Loss Support
Pregnant After Loss Support
Relationship Strain After Loss Support

Did you know that just telling your story of loss is healing?

But one thing we learn the hard way early on in our grief is that we can’t tell our story to just anyone.

There are some people who want to put a silver lining on our story:

“At least you can have more children.” “At least you still have your other children.” “At least it was early.” “At least you had a chance to spend time with them.” “At least they’re not suffering.”

They mean well, and all of these things may be true, but they don’t bring comfort in our pain.

There are some people who offer spiritual-sounding things like:

“They’re in a better place.” “God needed another angel.” “You’re so strong.” “Everything happens for a reason.”

We know they’re trying to help, but these phrases don’t meet us in our need. It’s not “weeping with those who weep,” like Romans 12:15 says.

And there are some people who disappear altogether.

For so many people, the idea that babies and children can die is so upsetting that they just want to push it away. Because if your child could die, then their child could die.

They don’t know what to say, so instead they say nothing.

This can cause feelings of isolation, leaving us wondering who we can talk to who understands our pain.

(If you’re reading this and you have a friend who has lost a child, it’s okay if you’ve said these things! We don’t always know what to say! Click HERE for some practical ways you can support your friend.)

Everyone in our Community knows that children can and do die – with a greater frequency than most people realize. It’s a place where you can tell your story, benefit from the healing that it brings, and not worry that anyone will bristle from hearing it.

You don’t have to use church-speak.

It’s okay if you’re angry.

You and your story are safe with us.

You can join us if you’re new in your loss, or if it’s been years since your child died.

You can join us if you’re struggling with a specific aspect of grief, or if everything feels like a jumbled mess and you don’t know where to start.

No matter where you are in your grieving journey, you’ll find support and friendship here in the form of online meetups, discussion areas, book groups, and more!

Plus it’s completely free!

What if you could find the support and understanding that you needed to heal from the pain of pregnancy and child loss?

Are you ready to find out?

“Eileen Tully shares her heart and wisdom with the gentle but powerful authority of one who has been with Jesus at the foot of the Cross.”

Sonja Corbitt, Catholic Evangelista

After losing my [adult] daughter unexpectedly, my grief seems unending and unbearable. Eileen offered expertise, compassion and many tools to help and heal the pain.

Retreat Participant

I finally felt like I was in the presence of someone who wasn’t judging me or trying to fix me. You simply understood because you are living it, and you didn’t ask that we do anything other than be present. THANK YOU.

Retreat Participant

Coming in June:

A Workshop on the Temperaments

Your unique temperament affects the way you experience everything in life, including your grief.

Whether you’re sanguine, choleric, melancholic, or phlegmatic, each temperament comes with its own strengths, weaknesses, motivators, and aversions, which we will learn about during this workshop. (Don’t worry – there’s even a free assessment to discover your temperament if you don’t already know!)

As it relates to grieving, understanding your temperament can help you to:
💝 Be gentle with yourself as you process your loss
💝 Recognize what things may be especially painful for you
💝 Understand how to ask others for help and support
💝 Seek out your ideal conditions to process and heal

This Temperaments Workshop will be held live in the Present in the Pain Community on June 24, 2023 from 1-3 PM.  Come join us and gain valuable insight into your own God-given temperament. 

New: Greeting cards for pregnancy and child loss

My ministry was recently mentioned in the National Catholic Register in a piece that talked about how faith and community help people who are grieving. Click the image below to read the article:

Healing Sorrow: Faith and Fellowship Aid Those Grieving

My podcast for grieving mothers is here! New episodes are released on Wednesdays. I pray that it will be a source of encouragement for you and help you to feel seen and understood in the pain of child loss.

I’d be so grateful if you gave it a listen, shared it with someone else, or offered a prayer that it would be helpful to those who need it.

Current Podcast Series, with my husband, Patrick:

Subscribe to the Present in the Pain Podcast on your favorite podcast app or sign up for my email list below so you don’t miss the next series!

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Listen to Eileen’s interview on A Seeking Heart Podcast with Allison Gingras.

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